How to get out of a mom rut and avoid festive burnout this Christmas?

WellnessParenting

30 Nov

Written By AMBER

Being overwhelmed and in a rut is common for moms all year round. The demands of home life and work life is a contrasting battle and quite often, we struggle to find the right balance between doing everything for others and doing something for ourselves. However, this expectation of ‘keeping it together’ is highly increased as we feel the pressure to make the festive period a memorable experience for the entire family at the cost of our own mental health and sanity. We might feel obliged to socialise more than usual which can take a lot of energy and also cause worries about how we are going to afford everything. Family gatherings can also cause anxiety at this time and we or our loved ones might struggle with the temptation of overindulging in food and alcohol at this time. As Asian women there is often an added pressure of putting the needs of our partners family first before our own, and a feeling of guilt if we put our needs first. In this article, we will be looking at how to get ourselves out of a typical mom rut, especially around the festive period.

Burnout can show up in in many different ways, but symptoms can include:

Mood swings

Exhaustion
Difficulty sleeping
A negative outlook on the world
Procrastination
Feeling overwhelmed
Chest pains
Irritability

What can we do to help ourselves?

Take time out: whether that’s coffee with friends, meal with your partner, or just a movie at home. Give yourself some time during the festive season to do things that YOU want to do, and more than just once.

Lower expectations: You can try mono-tasking instead of multitasking. This means you focus on only one job until it's completed. This approach lowers the burden on working memory, reduces your vulnerability to distraction, and helps you complete the task more efficiently and quickly. High expectations can lead to higher anxiety and being less productive.

Do something different: if the idea of Christmas and festivities fills you with dread, try something different. It is ok to break routines and try something new. Perhaps get dinner out or choose to do an activity with the family instead of exchanging presents.

Delegate: ask members in your support network to help you with activities that might cause stress such as present buying, organising food and family activities. It helps families to feel part of the festive season and takes the pressure off you to do everything. When asking for help, remember to be specific, people are often willing to help but need guidance on what you need from them.

Prioritise: You can’t do everything. Think about what is important in making your festive experience - and do that instead! Don’t get hung up on trying to live up to traditions and instead make new ones according to what YOU want to prioritise.

Check in with yourself regularly: am I ok? If not, what can I do to make myself feel ok?! Journaling can help.

Slow down: Rushing is not meant to be a permanent state and yet many people don’t know how to slow down - give yourself time. Don’t overbook by saying yes to every invitation straight away, slow down and take your time deciding where you want to spend your energy during this period.

Stop comparing: If you are comparing your festivities to an idea you think it should be or to others, it’s not beneficial and it’s not going to help. Ask yourself “does this stuff that is causing you stress really matter to you?”.

Exercise: Although there might be less time to exercise during this period, the benefits are worth it. Physical activity releases endorphins that can improve your mood and make you feel calmer, especially when you are feeling stressed around Christmas. Perhaps take a few extra laps round the shopping centre or walking to places instead of driving if possible.

Create healthy habits: You can try improving your diet which is often hard around the festive period, but being mindful of what you’re eating and drinking may help; getting outside, and practicing gratitude.

Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness is a way to be fully present in the moment using your senses especially around the festive period.

Find positive ways to remember loved ones: This is usually a time that reminds us of all the loved ones we have lost, is there something positive and active you can do to celebrate their memory; e.g. an activity they loved to do.

However you choose to celebrate the festivities, remember that you cannot look after anyone until you look after yourself. You should not feel guilty for this. Take some time, make a plan/ list, delegate jobs, and most importantly smile and enjoy making new festive memories. Try not to worry if things do not go to plan, when this happens ask STOP and ask yourself “on a scale of 1-10 how much are you letting this effect you?” and “where can you better spend the energy if your current situation is not serving you well”.